Low Flying Parents

My friend Cerberus on my airsoft team (Myrmidons, link on the left) used the phrase 'Helicopter Parent' on a forum post of mine over there. This is the definition he gave me when I inquired about the meaning of the phrase:

Helicopter Parent Noun or Adjective depending on usage.

A parent who is over protective of their child to the point that the child is smothered. Also known as an "attack parent" inside education circles.

Example: Parent who must increase the dosage of (insert medication here) because child has gone to summer camp. Because of issues with child being gone the child is no longer allowed to attend even a day camp.

Example: Parent who comes to school screaming how the child is hated and made to feel inferior because the child was caught cheating on a test despite previous warning that anyone caught cheating would receive a ZERO for the test. Parent then leaves screaming that they will sue everyone involved for mental cruelty to their child.

My response kind of went on a mini rant so I decided to post my thoughts here as well (yay! self plagiarism FTW again!)

I actually posted something about this here a couple of months ago. The attitudes and emotions I explain in that post about having our first kid actually apply to the way I've started viewing life in general.

I have minimal fear of the day-to-day terms of life (and that's really what the problem is with parents that are described above, fear) because I'm acutely aware of my own strengths and limitations. This is not arrogance or pride. It's humility. It would be arrogant to believe I am any more or any less than what I was created to be (unfortunately most Christians believe true humility is debasing themselves, but that's another post). I take care of what I've been created to be capable of taking care of, and I rely on God and other people for the rest. And it isn't the end of the world if I screw up my part. I correct and move on. This is where most parents screw up. They think they need to be perfect for their kids and that they need to "set the example". The net result is that they don't show them any vulnerability, making the kid feel inadequate and like they will never "live up" to their parents expectations. On top of that, the parents end up projecting their own selfish need for perfection onto their kids, so the kids are hit again with the message that "you will never be good enough".

True parenting is not about giving your kids a perfect example. It's about living honestly and vulnerably with them. They need to know they are loved more than how to act. Let them be who they are supposed to be by being who you are supposed to be.

I think a good way to sum it up would be this:
"If you've never apologized to your children, you're not doing your job as a parent."